The canonical home for Bill Crossley's music catalog.

Seared

Death Astonished Album: Heresy Track 6

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Notes

At this point, the narrator is cooked, and he knows it. His sin and rebellion have driven him to the very edge of abandoning his faith altogether. The music, like the emotions, are intense and dark. There is almost nothing left of the person he was. His conscience is seared with a hot iron, and not functioning anymore. His relationship with God is in shambles, if it still exists at all. He knows where this path leads, and it's nowhere good.

Black metal seemed appropriate for this, and it makes a good reference to my personal story. At one of my many low points in this whole experience, I was driving along Telegraph Road near Bloomfield Hills, MI, listening to a Dimmu Borgir song on the stereo at a very obnoxious volume. They are a black metal band and use overt Satanic themes and lyrics in their music. At one point, they were literally screaming "Hail Satan!" and there I was, a Christian man, sitting in my car in front of God and everyone, singing right along with them like it didn't matter at all. That moment became a turning point, because the voice of the Holy Spirit overpowered the music and smacked me on the noggin with a proverbial two-by-four and just asked "Dude, WHAT are you doing??"

My conscience had been so burnt and dead for so long that I was de-sensitized to anything spiritual at all. But that was the moment God chose to work and start the process of bringing me back. So this song, it's style, and its lyrics, are an homage to that day.

Lyrics

[Verse 1]
Carve my name in blasphemy
Until the letters disappear
Burn the nerves
The conscience seared

What once I worshipped
Now I only fear

[Verse 2]
Whispers crawling through my mind
Shadows underneath my skin
Every voice that promised freedom
Led me closer to perdition

I became the thing I followed
Empty, broken, frozen cold

[Bridge]
"Hail Satan," they all scream!
"He will set you free!"
But Satan's just another prisoner
Locked in here with me!

[Chorus]
Conscience burning
Flesh on fire
Every sin
Feeds desire

[Interlude]
[Instrumental]

[Verse 3]
I scream for God in empty silence
But my voice is not my own
Something wearing my reflection
Answers back from hell below

I stand upon the very edge
I feel the fire in my flesh

[Outro]
My conscience seared
My flesh consumed
Wages of sin
Behold, my doom!

[End]