The canonical home for Bill Crossley's music catalog.

The Inevitable Return of Florida Man (bonus)

Death Astonished Album: Reformation Track 11

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Notes

After everything, we can still laugh and have fun .. and the bizarre antics of Florida Man continue to provide ample fodder that purpose.

Lyrics

[Intro]
[Voice-over]
Now, son .. there's folks that say
"Florida Man ain't real .."
Those folks ain't from Florida

[Verse 1]
Well, they locked him up in Miami
For cookin' meth behind the mall
Three life terms and twelve felonies
They though they'd seen it all

[Verse 2]
But one morning up in Jacksonville
Right about half past ten
Someone stole the sheriff's speedboat
And there he was again!

[Bridge]
Now some folks say he's immortal
Some say he was cloned by the C.I.A
My cousin swears he saw him once
Dynamite fishin' in the everglades
[Spoken] with Elvis.

[Chorus]
Oh, Florida Man, he's ridin' again
Got a new lawn mower and a bottle of gin
Oh, Florida Man, he's at it again
Runnin' down the freeway
Wearin' nothin' but a grin
Be careful out there, he's on the sly
Weirdos never die, they multiply!


[Verse 3]
Old miss Betty says he's ninety three
But the sheriff's sure he's twenty
Bobby swears he saw him yesterday
Baptizin' gators in a vat of sweet tea

[Verse 4]
Then there's the time I saw him myself
Dancin' naked in the middle of town
He told a hurricane to just blow away
And it left the very next day!

[Bridge]
Oh, some say he taught Chuck Norris
Everything that he ever knew
Others say Bigfoot moved up north
Cause Florida Man scared him off, too
[Spoken] Nope! Too weird for me,
I'm outta here.

[Chorus]
Oh, Florida Man, he's ridin' again
Got a new lawn mower and a bottle of gin
Oh, Florida Man, he's at it again
Runnin' down the freeway
Wearin' nothin' but a grin
Be careful out there, he's on the sly
Weirdos never die, they multiply!

[Ending voice-over]
Truth is, son, he ain't just out there ..
He's in here.
'Cuz a the end of the day ..
We're all Florida Man.

[Ending]